The Electronic Magazine of www.Chathouse.com.

Issue #58 ~•~ May 28th, 2001
Brought to you live!!

MichiganStorm™ | Chat Dominatrix | My2Cents | Chat Diva | Horoscopes

From The Desk Of... MichiganStorm™ Memorial Day: As most know the United States celebrates Memorial Day this week, Monday the 28th to be exact. Memorial Day has been used as a holiday in the States to celebrate those who have faught to defend out country and our rights for years but it's also been the most popular weekend for visiting cemetaries and planting flowers at grave sights, a person held in someones heart and memories doesn't necessarily have to be a veteran. But, the veterans are the people who have served their country, the people for whom the holiday was created (to the best of my knowledge). Our country, as most all others, have lost thousands of men and boys to war, including the most infamous - Vietnam - but I won't get started on that as I'd never shut up. For each of you who have lost a Grandfather, a father, a spouse, a brother or anyone important to you to war I both send my thoughts on this day and my gratitude because I am one of the many whom they faught to protect. The News: Only days prior to Memorial Day the news of the United States FBI screw up was put out on the news wires and I imagine that it was in the news all over the world. Thanks to the FBI, the execution of Timothy McVeigh will be post-poned or possibly canceled? McVeigh bombed a federal building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995 turning it into a pile of rubble and dust, he murdered 168 people within minutes, 19 of them children, and now they realize that they did not turn over all evidence? I'm hoping that this link works for you all, Click here to read more. Summer Gatherings: Some of the rooms seem to be alive with the chatter of upcoming summer gatherings here in the States and abroad! I for one am expecting a few people to arrive in Michigan during my Fourth of July week off from work and have been planning my first trip to Canada as well as possibly another trip to Texas this year around Labor Day. Do you have any plans for gatherings or are possibly hosting a gathering yourself and would like information regarding it posted in the Ezine? Email the info along with an addy for readers to contact you to ch_zine@hotmail.com. TOP

The Chathouse ~Chat Dominatrix~ Hoax? Every now and then, I receive one or two of the famous ((hoax)) emails in my personal email. What I find shocking is that they are sent to me by family and friends who are grown adults.  Grown adults who think, if they forward this email to everyone they know, they will get to go to Disney Land. Or that Bill Gates is so hard up, that he needs your help in testing out his new email tracking system. But yet, he can afford to pay you $1,000.00 just for you forwarding an email to every single person you know. Lets not forget about the children dying of cancer, who will get 3 cents for every person they forward this junk mail on to.  I'm shocked because not only do I know, but love and respect, the people that forward on these emails with comments added such as ""what do we have to loose"". The temptation to email back and reply, ""my respect"", is almost uncontrollable.  So I've decided to try and end a few of these forwards one person at a time. And today, you are that person! I have done a little researching and found several sites that help to investigate hoax emails.  Most explain how to spot them and then go on to give the added support needed to help you in making the right decision on selecting the delete button instead of the forward! So the next time you get a hoax email or chain letter or something you are not sure about, but sounds too good to be true or too bad to be true, send it to me. I will look into it and find out the scoop behind it. However, when you forward that junk mail to me, be sure to change the subject and just put "HOAX" in or I may delete unknowingly it along with all the other junk mail I receive! ChatDominatrix@Hotmail.com Stolen Posts Did you know that 89% of men prefer to give oral sex rather then receive it? Is it me, or does that percentage sound just a tad bit like the statistician is doing some really good drugs? ChatDominatrix@Hotmail.com Chathouse News Gossip  Rumor has it that Texas will be the location of the next  upcoming gathering for those in Joe's Diner. Added  Quotes Two quotes were picked this week to be added to the Random Quotes.   -The first was sent in by jafo   -The second one was sent by ~Ian Morre~ ˛ Friendly fire, is not friendly.       ˛ Moderation is for monks, to enjoy the full flavor of life, take big bites -- Robert Anson Heinlein To submit your favorite quote, joke, bumper sticker or motto for a chance to win and be added to the Random Quotes, email it in, along with your handle to, quotes@chathouse.com   New Visitors RantMaster's Theater    The News Page chatdominatrix@chathouse.com TOP

My Two Cents Click to see my homepage in a new window by My2CentsDealW/it! Dear2c@HoTMaiL.com My Two Cents on Memorial Day Last week I talked quite a bit about the proposed Cesar Chavez holiday, but this week I want to reflect on the weekend just passed and the holiday that we just celebrated here in America. Memorial Day! Memorial Day is an American holiday, but the people it honors are International. Our Military Veterans! We here in America have much to be thankful for when it comes to the millions of men and women who gave their time, talents and very lives to defending our way of life. However, many countries around the world owe our fighting men and women just as much as we ourselves do. Not to take anything away from any other countries military personnel, but the outcome of many conflicts were decided by the involvement of American military troops, advisors and/or equipment! Even here in America though, we recognize the contributions of our allies on Memorial Day. In many of our celebrations, due recognition is given to those brave souls from many other countries that fought and died alongside our own brave men and women in pursuit of a common goal. FREEDOM! No matter how you feel about the military or war, whether you are a patriot or a pacifist, you cannot deny the fact that these people made the ultimate commitment to their own and all of our freedoms, often paying the ultimate price for that commitment! As well as those who endured a living death as POWs or MIAs. Let them NOT be forgotten! Click Here for a wonderful Memorial Day page I, personally, am not a big fan of most of the holidays that we celebrate or HOW we "celebrate" them in many cases, but Memorial Day is one that I hold dear! Many view it as an opportunity to protest the military and war in general, many view it as nothing more than an extra day at the lake or a chance to drink more beer, but many, like myself, view it as a solemn day of remembrance and a day to give thanks to those before us that fought and died for our right to protest or just drink beer at the lake! It is that freedom that they sacrificed themselves for as well as the freedom of others around the world to do the same! Now, perhaps it is my own military background that makes me more sensitive, but it pains me to see Memorial Day taken so lightly by so many. At the same time though, I would not force people to take it more seriously, because that would be taking away the very freedom that these people sacrificed to achieve for us all. I would simply ask you this... As you reflect back on the long weekend just past and as you recall the fun at the lake, the cookout with friends and family, the extra day to just sleep in late, etc... Please remember WHY you were able to enjoy that this last weekend. That long weekend that marks the beginning of summer here in America was bought and paid for with the blood, sweat and tears of millions of people in numerous wars against those who would have taken any such pleasures away from you. It was paid for with the lives of sons, husbands and fathers! It is continually paid for on a daily basis by thousands of men and women in the military today who give up time and contact with family and friends and lives lost in training to keep the military ready to defend those freedoms from future aggressors. It's not a "perk" of your job or a gift from your employer or the government, but rather a day of recognition for those who paid the price for you to have the freedom that we enjoy today. So, enjoy it, celebrate it, protest it, drink beer, sleep in or whatever you choose to do on that day, but above all else, I ask you to... Please Remember! Click Here for a wonderful Memorial Day page So, what have you got to say? Let me know and I'll tell you if it's worth 2 cents! Dear2c@HoTMaiL.com *note: all names and handles will be changed or removed to protect the pathetic* TOP

~*Chat Diva*~ Mix It Up I, like so many others in Chathouse, enjoy a few cocktails now and then. I, like so many others in Chathouse, go a little overboard sometimes when I drink, it's not uncommon to get carried away when the drinks taste good to over-do yourself a bit, getting a little more intoxicated than originally planned. I'm sure we've all had those nights when we take a shower, do our hair, put on our nicest clothes and prepare for "the party of the year" (there are so many of those aren't there?) and the entire time we're telling ourselves, 'I'm not going to drink as much as I did last time', or something similar to that. But what happens between the time you leave your house and the time you return? To put it simply, we get drunk. No way to deny it, it's happened to anyone who drinks at least once. You tell yourself, 'this weekend I'll only have a couple' or 'this weekend I'll be more responsible' and then you get the first couple down and they taste so good and you're feeling alright so you drink another, then another, then another and by midnight you've forgotten the promises you've made to yourself. It's alright you know, everyone deserves to tie one on once in a while as long as they're doing it responsibly. Designate a driver or have a back-up plan, someone you can call if you feel you've drank more than you should have. Some people think this is degrating or embarrassing, but what is more embarrassing; calling a parent, sibling, or friend from jail for bail money or calling them for a ride home? Calling for a ride home and letting these people who care about you see you intoxicated beyond all belief or having them come see you in a hospital gown or, worse yet, waking up dead? But I'm not here to lecture, that would make me a hipocrite as I know I've driven when I shouldn't have or rode with someone I shouldn't have, I've even got emotional scars and some trouble with one of my legs to prove that I know I shouldn't have. We all make mistakes, but whey continue to make them if we can prevent them? Make that call!! Oh, as I was saying, I'm not here to lecture but to mix it up a little with some drink recipes! Some of these I've made up myself and found they're very good! The first I like to call 'Parrot Rain'. You need to visit the coolers of a local grocery or gas station and find the new Snapple juices that are sold in the tall odd shaped glass bottles and pick up a few bottles of the Snapple Rain. In an eight ounce glass a little more than half full of crushed ice mix a heavy shot of Parrot Bay (Coconut flavored Rum a Captain Morgan product I believe) and the Snapple Rain. For a little different taste use the same mix but in place of the Parrot Bay rum use Absolute Citron (a flavored Vodka) and call it "Citrus Rain". How about something a little more colorful? It's called a 'Frog'. With or without the crushed ice, fill a glass a little over half full of Orange Juice then add Blue Maui Schnapps (spelling?) until the drink is a pretty shade of green. The darker the color the stronger the drink. To make this 'Frog' into a 'Toad' start with your OJ then add the same amounts of both the Blue Maui and the Red Maui and it'll turn about the color rank baby poop, but it tastes much better I'm sure. Enjoy responsibly. thechatdiva@hotmail.com TOP

Horoscopes By Texas Storm Note: Hopefully it's understood that this issue's horoscopes, as well as last weeks, are posted in jest. You might find them a lil' more humorous if you read all the of signs and in the order they're posted. Please note the phrase "might find them a lil more humorous", in no way, shape or form is this a promise or guarantee, and there will be no refunds!   Taurus April 20 - May 20 Hey, you! Yes, I'm talking to you, with the banana in your ear... ah, erm, wait. I don't think that's quite how that joke goes. This huge failure to properly remember a joke on the part of the stars that make up the Taurus zodiac sign triggers the Fifth Great Ice Age, which isn't all that great, even if you've central heating.   Leo July 23 - August 22 As channel four's roving ficus plant reporter (a gig scored by your agent, who has hinted that he may or may not have had to have Chris Evans killed for you to get the job) you get the breaking Fifth Great Ice Age story and wind up having to interview a rather sheepish Taurus concerning their part in the onset of it being really quite cold. The news execs figured the news would seem extremely poignant being reported on by someone who perennially has to worry about frosts and the like. Virgo August 23 - September 22 The sight of a ficus plant in earmuffs and gloves on the eleven o'clock news berating a Taurus for setting off the Fifth Great Ice Age has you running to the encyclopedia and the web for an exact count of the number of previous ice ages, trying to catch the stars and horoscopes out and having not done nearly enough research into just how many ice ages we've had thus far. Ah Ha! But little did you know that in the Fifth Great Ice Age, as Nostradamus predicted, probably, when he was talking about "and it will get quite chilly, and the demon from the south with devour the demon from the west and all will still be quite cold, and you won't feel like waiting for the bus for very long, and shall be confined to your homes, where at least it's warm," the internet and encyclopedias will be down for the duration of the Fifth Great Ice Age.   Gemini May 21 - June 20 The encroachment of the Fifth Great Ice Age really gets your knickers in a twist, as now all those stocks you'd bought in global warming have just gone right down the toilet.   Capricorn December 22 - January 19 You feel quite relieved, your incident in which you created a black hole in your kitchen sink being somewhat overshadowed by the Fifth Great Ice Age. It cuts into your speaking engagement appointments, but overall you're pretty happy. Until you realize, after the ice has risen over the top of your door, that you have a video you hadn't managed to return just yet and are going to get charged astronomical late fees if this Ice Age doesn't clear up soon. Cancer June 21 - July 22 Your plan to reverse the Ice Age by getting a petition together and having loads and loads of copies distributed, signed, and then burned in a great big bonfire in the center of town is a noble gesture, but completely pointless. And it gets you arrested for attempting to set fire to the town center with the two petitions you'd received back, which an embarrassing way to go, surely. Pisces February 19 - March 20 Look what you've done now; with your unhappiness with soap-on-a-rope you've caused the Fifth Great Ice Age! While this may contradict the bulk of the blame placed thus far (and squarely at or on the Tauri in the audience) and the nature of the cause and effect between not being grateful for soap-on-a-rope in your horoscope and it getting incredibly cold and icy may not be exactly clear, the stars hope to distract those thoughts from your head by placing a large shiney Elvis button (not related in most ways, shapes, and forms to the big red button) in front of your face.   Aries March 21 - April 19 Being a Grade A Ninja Assassin isn't a great deal of help against the bitter cold, as you'd expect, of the Fifth Great Ice Age. (For those of you not following along, there's an Ice Age on. It's either Taurus' or Pisces' fault.) The one thing you do know, and which you may have learned in ninja training, is that now is most definitely not the time to be licking metal posts.   Libra September 23 - October 22 Due to Darwin's Rules of Thumb of Evolution (recently downgraded from a Law by the appearance of yet another Steven Segal film and the general state of the press) you probably don't have much of a future, insisting on being macho (yes, even you girls) and not wearing a coat, against the better advice of your mother and anyone who sees you outside without a coat and the -20° Celsius temperatures. Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Despite not having a horoscope you do notice that it's quite chilly out there. The Horoscopal Board of Integrity and Ham Sandwiches has not prepared a comment as of yet on where they're holidaying in these cold times.   Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 A polar bear seems to have eaten your foot at some point. You notice this when you get to the top step and attempt to take another step up and almost chin yourself on the door handle of the door at the top of the stairs. Now if you can just remember where it might have been you wouldn't really be any better off, but at least you'd be able to show your grandchildren the spot where the polar bear ate your foot   Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Due to the Fifth Great Ice Age on at the moment, you could take advantage of the land bridge between Alaska and Siberia and the other one between Norway, England, Ireland, and Iceland to go on a cheap walking holiday! Or, not! As there doesn't appear to be a land bridge going to Spain or Hawaii or anywhere else worth holidaying in. And you want to avoid walking all that much, as you've heard people have had their feet eaten by polar bears recently. TOP